Early Tuesday Morning Nicole asked me to start dinner if I arrived home first. She told me a few things, but it was early and I thought I got the jest of it. I remember she said "Peal the squash and cut it into cubes, and it doesn't matter on the size." I make it home and was wasting time hoping she would make it home so I wouldn't have to make all of dinner, but Nicole didn't arrive. Well, I start cutting the squash slowly while I am listening to the news, and trying to remember her instructions. Then I look at the rest of the directions --which are shown above-- and didn't really get it, and I ask myself "What the heck is EVOO." Then, after looking at the directions, I wasn't sure if I was supposed to add the second bunch of ingredients to the first and cook them, or cook the second and then add them to the first. Also, I wasn't sure if the white wine was White wine vinegar or white cooking wine. Because I saw both of them in the cupboards. (I had been at work all day doing a slope stability model and didn't have my "A" game when I got home)
The final result was that I figured the EVOO stood as evaporated milk and started cooking the first bunch of items and put the T of evaporated milk in. Then I thought "Gosh I believe this is supposed to be a sauce so maybe I better put in more milk." I put in more. Then I decided to start boiling the 2nd bunch of things and put in 1/3 cup of white wine vinegar. Then I remembered that we went to the store last night and bought white cooking wine for tonight's dinner so i dumped the vinegar down the drain and added the white cooking wine.
I have one pan cooking the mushrooms with the milk. I thought that sure is a lot of milk and it isn't thickening up and it finally hit me "I bet I need to cook the first item of things and then add the 2nd bunch to the first and then bring it to a boil and that is the sauce." Well, I dump the cooking wine, broth, and salt into the mushrooms and turn up the heat and start boiling off the excessive liquid because of the extra milk. About then Nicole shows up and I say "Hey what does EVOO stands for" and she says "Extra Virgin Olive Oil" and I tell her I thought it was evaporated milk and I explain the story and she starts laughing at my mess, but then tastes my masterpiece and she "loved it."
So ladies - you can leave cooking up the husband if you want, but no guarantees on what you get. Some times it will be a masterpiece and other times it is just a piece.